TBI Army Wife

This past weekend I spent three days sharing with families of Wounded Warriors. One have to believe that they are the strongest women on Earth and that is what we hear constantly from people who support military families. As I do some reflection exercise about this weekend, I cannot avoid but to think of the various backgrounds, the variety of flavors in culture, professions, passion and military branches these women represented. Despite this variety there is one thing that really stands out; we are one family, we see pass our differences and we become more similar than ever. God has allowed me to speak to these spouses and the opportunity that Hearts of Valor provided, was difficult to put a value to it, because there is a wealth of experiences lived during this weekend; there is nothing that can pay for such wonderful memories. It is my hope that each of the spouses and mothers that attended the retreat were able to see this event was coordinated with sacrifice, love and commitment f...

Hi friends, I hope that when you read this post you are enjoying life like it should be and undisputedly we all should strive for. Sometimes we let our life conform to the shape of our circumstances. Just imagine if the clay is not well work by the artist, then the vase would never have the intended form.  I always tell people that I live my life to the fullest and I do not let my past or current situations define who I am, but I will learn from the purpose of each one of them. That said, I want you know that my husband is improving significantly, not because his impairments resolved but because everyday he is learning and striving to manage everything in a way that he can fulfill his goals. As a caregiver of a Soldier with traumatic brain injury for the past three and a half years I can say, I have walked in various paths that were unexpected. I wasn't ready, I never envisioned this new life but this new life have brought one of the most meaningful experiences, the opportunity...

For the past couple of years more scientists are studying the benefits of living in the present. As I woke up this morning I thought about all the caregivers that are worrying so much about their future. I have heard things like "But what if he doesn't change", "Will this situation going to be like this forever?" "If he doesn't get the retirement or rating we are expecting, we won't be able to support our family" and many more concerns about the future. All these concerns are legitimate and many times takes part in our dreams, take time from our sleep and it is revolving constantly in our minds. When thinking on all these this morning I couldn't avoid but reflect on it. During my “me” time this morning I thanked God for all the wonderful things in life, because definitely could have been worst. Pretty much we can all relate to knowing someone who is worse than us, but that is not the point. The important thing is recognizing that we all h...

I was asked to write about marriage and intimacy. What a topic of so much divergence and complicated to the human nature. When I see marriages that survived WWII, Korea and Vietnam I can’t avoid thinking “wow, how they made that happened”, but the more I speak with more experienced couples the more I see a common theme among them, values and commitment. I remember seeing my grandparents’ growing old and still saying “I love you” like it was part of their daily language. “What have we forgotten or when did we disconnect?” “There is no intimacy, there is no marriage”. These question and statement are so common and have been brought to my attention by spouses of wounded warriors. One afternoon I am sitting at home and I am reflecting in all the comments that I have heard and the pain and sorrow that these situations bring to these spouses. Are you the spouse of a wounded warrior? Life is not over, like my husband will say, “It is a new beginning”. The problem is that sometimes we are y...

It has been quite some time since I last wrote. There have been many new developments in our lives. Very good news is that our cause to bring awareness has been picking up and more people are looking for ways to help spread the word. I had the opportunity to go to the State of the Union Address last January and needless to say it was an amazing experience, thanks to Congressman Reyes and his wife Carolina, it was like a dream come true. We have also participated of numerous events as well as helping families cope with this new normal in their lives. On February I participated of a weekend retreat for Wounded Warrior Wives (WWW). This organization is helping the WWW community in ways that I cannot finish to describe. One of the many commitments they do is that they take this retreat around the Nation. For more information go to http://www.woundedwarriorwives.org and sign up to become a member (it is free). Anyway, I spent a weekend with other WWW and I realized that each of our cases ...

Wow! The Holidays are over and I still feel it was yesterday when I put up the christmas tree. This new year I have various goals and I will work toward them one by one. I have goals that can be categorize in personal and professional. The professional goals include the completion of my doctoral dissertation (which I am just starting) and to continue to succeed at work. My personal goals are the ones complicated because this year I have to work toward improving various areas. It has been a little over two year since my husband sustained a TBI. I really need to listen more and not push him to hard. I am always full of life, wanting to do multiple things, go to many places and never rest. Well, that doesn't help my husband, because he needs to go slower. I noticed I did better in the past when the injury was recent, but now two and a half years later I am again like the old me and that is not working. I expressed my feelings in the past about how we caregivers change our mode of bei...

Last Friday we celebrated Veterans Day and soon we will be celebrating Thanksgiving. On Veterans Day I took Victor to dinner and we had a wonderful day. I thanked him for ALL he has done specially all his sacrifices. I feel Victor sacrificed his health for the Freedom of this Great Nation and I love when he tells me, he will do it all over again in a heart bit. Sometimes, things that we take for granted are taken from us. I am glad I never took my husband for granted because I always ppreciated all he was and now all he is. Veterans day for me it is everyday. The appreciation I have for all their sacrifice is always there. I am grateful for a Nation that values and recognizes their veterans. We, the spouses of military play a vital role in their performance and their well being. We, the spouses are what I call the backbone of the family, because we keep it all together while they are gone; so I am also thankful for all those military spouses that chose the sacrifice of living a life ...