Today I woke up with a big knot in my throat, a sharp pain in my heart and the relief of knowing that everything will be okay. Last night was one of those days that I dreamed with how my husband was. We were talking and he sounded so clear, so like he was, he was so different (active, outgoing and very secured of himself). Yes, I still remember those days and I feel so guilty I dreamed about it and I wish so badly we can have our lives back. Today is one oif those days that I would love to have a time machine and go back in time and spend there even if it's 10 minutes, the times that we used to laugh without thinking about the future, that we could be all day long somewhere traveling and having fun without the exhaustion. I know, it sounds horribly selfish and for that I feel so much guilt. Sometimes I feel scared I will forget how his voice sounded and his gestures when he talked to me. The days like today I go back as early as our wedding day and try to recall every moment we sh...