TBI Army Wife

Happy New Year to all my friends. The beginning of a new year is most of the time the beginning of new goals that we expect to fulfill. It is common to set goals based on lived experiences so this year one of my goals is to never give up hope. Hope is the key ingredient to expect what your heart desires. My hope is that I can have happinnes, love, patience, wisdom and all those characteristics that will help me succeed in whatever should come to my life. When I think of the year 2010 it makes me wonder where did it go, it went so fast, it was so hectic, so accelerated that I barely had time to enjoy myself like I used to. This year I will try to do meaningful things that will deliver postive outcomes and that will make me happy. Things that will be new experiences during this year will be my husband’s medical retirement. I know many unexpected situations and new adjustments will come with this new change in our lives. This first quarter of the year I want to write about the medical ...

Today I woke up with a big knot in my throat, a sharp pain in my heart and the relief of knowing that everything will be okay. Last night was one of those days that I dreamed with how my husband was. We were talking and he sounded so clear, so like he was, he was so different (active, outgoing and very secured of himself). Yes, I still remember those days and I feel so guilty I dreamed about it and I wish so badly we can have our lives back. Today is one oif those days that I would love to have a time machine and go back in time and spend there even if it's 10 minutes, the times that we used to laugh without thinking about the future, that we could be all day long somewhere traveling and having fun without the exhaustion. I know, it sounds horribly selfish and for that I feel so much guilt. Sometimes I feel scared I will forget how his voice sounded and his gestures when he talked to me. The days like today I go back as early as our wedding day and try to recall every moment we sh...

The other day (Friday) my husband gave me gift, an improvissed gift. It was a nice surprise since he used to do that all the time before the injury. He used to come home with gifts and nice details even if we were not celebrating anything. In celebrations he always make sure he made it very special and that never changed, but the sporadically gifting did. Not that now he is not caring but I guess his mind is in so many other things and he does not go shopping by himself which he usually did in past. Anyway, he gave me a beautiful card that reads as follows: “Ask me about my day and I’ll tell you… I spent it being grateful for your tenderness, thanksful for your soft caress- Ask me and I’ll tell you…. That I whispered a little thank you in my heart because you are beautiful on the inside, too… so sweet, so sensitive. You care about me, laugh with me, and believe in me, sometimes more than I do myself. Aks me about my life and I’ll tell you…. That it’s changed, I’ve changed –all because...

“Somewhere in Time”, I watch this movie for the first time when I was 5 years old, my sister and I watched it approximately 25 times. I do not know what it was but I always found the end so romantic. When I married my husband I promised to loved him and care for him in health and sickness, no matter if we were poor or wealthy. Hmmmm! Those vows are serious and people are not paying too much attention to what they are commiting. I guess in today’s society divorce is an easy option if the marriage does not work according to plans. Everyday we are moving to the comfort zone of “If I do not have it perfect I just quit”. Please do not take this introduction in a wrong way, as much as I do not like divorces I am not against it. I do not believe in suffering a relationship that does not work or abuses, etc. Those who know me know that I am feminist, mostly described by the equality of genders beleiving that women should get as far as she wants without subjecting herself or family to unhappin...

Sometimes it is difficult to envision the possibilities and be confident of what it is ahead. I can tell you that even though this past year has been the most challenging year of my life I am confident that it will serve for a purpose. “What a year”, that is a phrase I could say all the time and instead I always say “What a journey”. Why do I call it a journey? Think about it, when you travel most of the time you will go to places you have never been, you sleep, eat and visit new places, Right? So, when an injury happens to a loved one you will travel to a new dimension and you are enriched with new experiences. You may say, “But when I travel I plan and enjoy” and Yes that is also a good point but in life I think it is all what you make out of it. I know there are particular situations that joy may not be even part of your experiential dictionary but what you make out of it is what will make you unique and one of a kind. Who doesn’t know about Christopher Reeve and his wife Dana (RIP...