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Showing posts with the label Marriage

Marriage and Intimacy

I was asked to write about marriage and intimacy. What a topic of so much divergence and complicated to the human nature. When I see marriages that survived WWII, Korea and Vietnam I can’t avoid thinking “wow, how they made that happened”, but the more I speak with more experienced couples the more I see a common theme among them, values and commitment. I remember seeing my grandparents’ growing old and still saying “I love you” like it was part of their daily language. “What have we forgotten or when did we disconnect?” “There is no intimacy, there is no marriage”. These question and statement are so common and have been brought to my attention by spouses of wounded warriors. One afternoon I am sitting at home and I am reflecting in all the comments that I have heard and the pain and sorrow that these situations bring to these spouses. Are you the spouse of a wounded warrior? Life is not over, like my husband will say, “It is a new beginning”. The problem is that sometimes we are y...

New Year, New Beginnings!

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Wow! The Holidays are over and I still feel it was yesterday when I put up the christmas tree. This new year I have various goals and I will work toward them one by one. I have goals that can be categorize in personal and professional. The professional goals include the completion of my doctoral dissertation (which I am just starting) and to continue to succeed at work. My personal goals are the ones complicated because this year I have to work toward improving various areas. It has been a little over two year since my husband sustained a TBI. I really need to listen more and not push him to hard. I am always full of life, wanting to do multiple things, go to many places and never rest. Well, that doesn't help my husband, because he needs to go slower. I noticed I did better in the past when the injury was recent, but now two and a half years later I am again like the old me and that is not working. I expressed my feelings in the past about how we caregivers change our mode of bei...

Perseverance

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It has been quite some time since I last wrote to you. It has been a very busy and hectic past months. Victor and I are working on some projects that will change the policy for the treatment of TBI. In the past couple of years we had our ups and downs and our life changed drastically, but we are perseverant, we do not give up easily. Victor and I just celebrated our 11th Anniversary and we went to our favorite spot on Earth, Disney World. We celebrated our Honeymoon as well as every anniversary Victor was home in Disney. It was a time of reflection and fun at the same time. We enjoyed so much, just like the old times. We realized that this new normal did not stop nor affected how we will share and how we were going to enjoy our life. We always had great conversations and we still have them, just about different topics. We now strive to make a better world for those with traumatic brain injury and their families, but since we cannot talk to each person and family with TBI, we decided to...

Marriage after a Brain Injury

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Today was a beautiful day in El Paso, TX. The Sun was shining and a blue sky make my eyes appreciate how spectacular is to live day by day. I do not worry about tomorrow, the enjoy the blessings of today. Life after a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) can be challenging not only for the patient but for the family. My husband sustained a TBI and I also suffered the consequences that comes with it. That may be just me but I don't believe so, the more I hear spouses the more I realize that this injury although unknown by many, it is well lived by others. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) the incidence of brain injury is approximately 1.7 million a year (http://www.cdc.gov/TraumaticBrainInjury/). That means that every day 46,575 people sustained a TBI. This statistic excludes TBI in Soldiers, so the incidence is even higher. The short and long term consequences of a TBI are(http://www.cdc.gov/traumaticbraininjury/outcomes.html): •Thinking (i.e., memory and rea...