TBI Army Wife

Christmastime is usually a very happy and joyful season to many. I remembered 2004 was my first Christmas by myself and I didn't have any other wishes than having my husband back home, by then he was in Kandahar, Afghanistan. The other night I was thinking about the spouses of deployed soldiers and how they are spending their Holidays and the spouses of wounded soldiers spending days and nights in a hospital next to the bed of their loved ones. "I'm blessed" is the phrase that comes to mind everyday, my situation can be much worst and it isn't. My husband has a brain injury and during this time of rush and celebration I tend to forget he cannot do things the way he used to. After a brain injury it is all about using strategies and modifying life pace and habits. This second Christmastime after his brain injury I knew that I had to plan ahead, buy most of the things online and take it slower than in the past. If we had an activity at night that means my husband nee...

Last week we celebrated "Thanksgiving Day". While many people were navigating the stores to find sales we were having a wonderful time in Atlanta. We went to Atlanta for the wedding of Erika Porter, my husband's best friend and his Platoon Leader while in Iraq. She was in the same mission when my husband was wounded. She is a wonderful friend and we enjoyed every minute of the Thanksgiving and wedding day. We met her wonderful family to include all the generations, from grandchildren to great-granparents. They are all from Atlanta and they all welcomed us as part of their family. My husband and I also met two wonderful professionals and human beings, committed to help others, especially those with traumatic brain injury. I cannot compete with my husband's eloquent description of Dr. Rachel Lacy and Tracy Quantum so please go to www.tbiwarriors.blogspot.com and read it for yourself. My husband became in contact with them but not in a ordinary way, it was special and ev...

I received a message from a dear friend that made me cried, not only because I could relate to her but because I felt there is nothing I could do to be there for her. This strong, beautiful woman is one of a kind. We were together serving in the Family Readiness Group and she was always ready to help and was instrumental in fulfilling the mission with families in deployment times. She had a sense of carism and she was vibrant, funny and overall fun to be around. Unfortunately her husband was medically discharge from the Army and the family they new has become distant. Yes, in the military we are a family and when we don't have that we feel we lost something precious. I will never forget one specific statement my friend wrote and that I keep hearing from spouses of wounded soldiers, "I feel like we are stuck spinning in the same circles". They feel they were left behind and I can share that same sentiment but then she said "I just wish I could waive a white flag and ...

Today was a beautiful day in El Paso, TX. The Sun was shining and a blue sky make my eyes appreciate how spectacular is to live day by day. I do not worry about tomorrow, the enjoy the blessings of today. Life after a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) can be challenging not only for the patient but for the family. My husband sustained a TBI and I also suffered the consequences that comes with it. That may be just me but I don't believe so, the more I hear spouses the more I realize that this injury although unknown by many, it is well lived by others. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) the incidence of brain injury is approximately 1.7 million a year (http://www.cdc.gov/TraumaticBrainInjury/). That means that every day 46,575 people sustained a TBI. This statistic excludes TBI in Soldiers, so the incidence is even higher. The short and long term consequences of a TBI are(http://www.cdc.gov/traumaticbraininjury/outcomes.html): •Thinking (i.e., memory and rea...

Self-esteem is a key component in traumatic brain injury (TBI) rehabilitation. Self-esteem is utilize mainly in psychology and it is define as the evaluation and appraisal of a person own worth. I remember when my husband sustained the TBI and was sent home on September 2009. He was angry and very frustrated, but all that suddenly changed to be sad and with a sense of worthless. One of the characteristics that distinguished my husband was how independent and sufficient he was, he would spend days in the field or he was deployed or he was just in any given mission the army sent him. He was so proud of his soldiering skills and of his soldiers. Why am I writing about this? There is always a purpose in my blog and that is to show how it was before the injury, immediately after the injury and some later time after the injury. You will notice that things will not always have to be sad. Self-esteem is a very important component, it will determine how motivated the person will be and the chan...

Today I received a beautiful e-mail from my sister. What she doesn't know is that she answered so many questions I had, like, "Did I ever do enought to be a role model or a good big sister?" Little she knows that her e-mail just made my day and more than that, she made shine a big smile that will never fade away. Please meet my loving "little" sister Melissa, my best friend, my confident and the one who knows me better than anyone else, because we laught, we cried and we shared the best memories of my first 23 years of life. She is a great love in my life! Now unfortunately we live so far away. Melissa said, A couple of days ago, you wrote in your blog having a knot in your throat when you woke up from a dream with Victor as he was in the past. That you felt ashamed for just dreaming that, even if you have no control over your dreams. I guess most of the spouses in your position dream about it once in a while, which doesn’t make you a bad person, just human. Sin...

by Bruce McIntyre Unknown and often unnoticed, you are a hero nonetheless. For your love, sacrificial, is God at his best. You walk by faith in the darkness of the great unknown, And your courage, even in weakness, gives life to your beloved. You hold shaking hands and provide the ultimate care: Your presence, the knowing, that you are simply there. You rise to face the giant of disease and despair, It is your finest hour, though you may be unaware. You are resilient, amazing, and beauty unexcelled, You are the caregiver and you have done well!