Making sense of this situation...

Sometimes it is difficult to envision the possibilities and be confident of what it is ahead. I can tell you that even though this past year has been the most challenging year of my life I am confident that it will serve for a purpose. “What a year”, that is a phrase I could say all the time and instead I always say “What a journey”. Why do I call it a journey? Think about it, when you travel most of the time you will go to places you have never been, you sleep, eat and visit new places, Right? So, when an injury happens to a loved one you will travel to a new dimension and you are enriched with new experiences. You may say, “But when I travel I plan and enjoy” and Yes that is also a good point but in life I think it is all what you make out of it. I know there are particular situations that joy may not be even part of your experiential dictionary but what you make out of it is what will make you unique and one of a kind.

Who doesn’t know about Christopher Reeve and his wife Dana (RIP). He was successful and had everything in life and yes he experienced a tragic moment that reshaped all he was. His entire family suffered this tragedy. What this family make out of this tragedy was a marvelous, courageous way of transforming life experiences into gems of valor. They had the option and the excuse to be miserable in their own sorrow or they could do what they did, they left a mark of thriumph and courage. Also, what about Bob and Lee Woodruff, how they have been able to conquer and enjoy life? It is not about having or not having health, it is about being succesful despite your circumstances. Health is not the absence of disease, it is efined by the World Health Organization as “a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and does not consist only of the absence of disease or infirmity”. So, do you consider yourself healthy? I’ll leave that for you to discover.

My dear husband is one of a kind, he transformed his sorrow into a mission, he conquer his brain injury. As his wife and caregiver I could inspire him as much as I want but it was up to him to take the opportunity to succed and I am glad he did. At first like I mentioned before, my husband felt worthless, just imagine a guy that was 24/7 on call, ready for duty, waking up at 4:30 am and working until 7pm or later. He had aproximately 60 Soldiers and he enjoyed every second of his duty. I never heard a complaint when he had to work long hours or hard work under the Sun or during cold times. He loves to serve this great Nation, he could not imagine doing anything else in life. Even during deployment time we would prepare as much as we could and empowered each other until that day that he would leave and that continue during the whole year long deployment time. What else can I say, now just imagine that guy in a uncertain mode, just going to medical appointment and feeling that he does nothing else other than takling care of his health. This is pretty much very frustrating to those who had an active life with responsibilities.

Now let me share some tips:
  1. Honesty about what you truly feel important to heal, always having in mind that this is a new journey, one that you need to make the best out of it.
  2. Acquire a warrior spirit, conquer your emotions through Faith, Love and Hope.
  3. Proclaim victory over your circumstances. DO NOT stay in the “regretful” mode.
  4. Possibilities are at the reach of your hand, look for new ways to be unique and extraordinary.
  5. Identify the new meaning in your life. How to make sense and transform this that I am experiencing?
  6. Nobody will know how you feel other than yourself, so be courageous and share with others, communicate.
  7. Express gratitude in ALL because it could be worst. Develop a humble spirit because as long as you breath you are alive.
  8. Silence negative words and thoughts, make then disappear from your mid and spirit. A positive attitude will make you a positive you.
  9. Smile as much as you want. I believe in the power of smiling, not only you feel better but you will inspire others. The smile comes from deep inside the joyful spirit.

You see, I follow these 9 principles and if you noticed I found HAPPINESS. I am sharing so you have an idea of how I make it through each day. One thing that I am known for is #9. Im always smiling, I don’t care if I do not know the person. A smile will take you a long way, but of course it needs to be sincere.

I hope that in some way I make you feel that you are not alone. If you are a caregiver, TBI survivor or provider and you would like to contact me, please do so at delgado_roxana@hotmail.com. I would love to answer your questions or receive petitions of topics. I have so much more to say, so please I do not care what topic I will be glad to answer any questions or talk about anything.

Remember, “Love and Care but also take care of yourself”.

With Love,

Comments

  1. Thanks Roxana. How do you not get discouraged? I find myself battling these feelings every day now. I can look at it as a journey but really, Fiji would be nice this time of year... j/k. Your strength gives me hope. Thank you again. Annie

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  2. Hi Annie, we all get discourage at some point but that is normal, the question that you should ask yourself is "How can I deal with this?". You have 2 options and I chose to uplift my spirit and find a way to redirect those feelings to transformed them in something positive. Fiji would be nice :) Take care and BTW I miss you tons, remember the old days before our husbands injuries ;) Now we have a new journey together, lets make the most out of it. Call me anytime friend :)

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