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5 Things to Consider When Caring for a Loved One with TBI

When my loved one has a Traumatic Brain Injury. How to better support him/her without forgetting who I am?The person with TBI may be vulnerable, so try to assist in the decision-making process without erring in continually making decisions for your loved one. This will help in keeping a sense of independence and autonomy.Confusion, forgetfulness, and even lack of motivation may be factors that influence the degree this person engages with other people and activities. Don’t blame them, but try to use strategies to better engage this person in a safe and healthy environment.Don’t blame ALL circumstances to the TBI. TBI is NOT responsible for every little behavior. Personal responsibility and accountability are very important and it may be applied to a person with a TBI in a case by case basis.Individuals with a TBI have goals, dreams and hopes. Engaging in positive discussions of how to achieve these goals is important, keeping in mind that your availability as a caregiver needs to cons…

March: Brain Injury Awareness Month

Traumatic brain injury (TBI) has been defined as a signature wound of war. What many people don’t realize is that TBI is a leading cause of injury-related death and disability in the United States. In 2010, as many as 2.5 million people sustained a TBI resulting in emergency department (ED) visits, hospitalizations, or deaths 1. TBI doesn’t discriminate by age, race, sex, ethnicity or education. It can happen to anyone. Some groups may be at a higher risk of sustaining a TBI. That is the main reason why, when we discuss this topic, we tend to think of the military and veterans. National data doesn’t include the approximate 357K TBIs reported among service members and veterans. This number sounds alarming, but even more alarming is the coexistence or comorbidities of other conditions resulting from the exposure to war, like posttraumatic stress (PTS) and chronic pain. Without proper rehabilitation, this cluster of conditions make it even worse for the person to perform well in their d…

Anniversary

On May 29, 2009 it was my husband's and my 9th wedding anniversary. Little did I know that a month later, on June 29, 2009 our lives would change. June 29, 2009, I received the call from the Department of teh Army informing me that my husband was wounded. He sustained a traumatic brain injury while on patrol in Iraq. Now, 4 years later I still remember that day so clearly. That day my heart sank, I thought I lost the person I loved and I thought it was the end, but I was mistaken, my dear husband came back to me. My husband returned physically but cognitively he was a different man. He had to learn how to live with impairments he didn't have, and he had to learn how to start a new life: one that has certainly marked our paths forever. During these 4 years we have the priviledge of meeting the most wonderful people we could ever imagined (selfless, compassionate and dedicated), we loved each other more than ever, we have accomplished things that we never envisioned, and most …

Hearts of Valor Retreat

This past weekend I spent three days sharing with families of Wounded Warriors. One have to believe that they are the strongest women on Earth and that is what we hear constantly from people who support military families. As I do some reflection exercise about this weekend, I cannot avoid but to think of the various backgrounds, the variety of flavors in culture, professions, passion and military branches these women represented. Despite this variety there is one thing that really stands out; we are one family, we see pass our differences and we become more similar than ever. God has allowed me to speak to these spouses and the opportunity that Hearts of Valor provided, was difficult to put a value to it, because there is a wealth of experiences lived during this weekend; there is nothing that can pay for such wonderful memories. It is my hope that each of the spouses and mothers that attended the retreat were able to see this event was coordinated with sacrifice, love and commitment …

New Year!

Hi friends, I hope that when you read this post you are enjoying life like it should be and undisputedly we all should strive for. Sometimes we let our life conform to the shape of our circumstances. Just imagine if the clay is not well work by the artist, then the vase would never have the intended form.  I always tell people that I live my life to the fullest and I do not let my past or current situations define who I am, but I will learn from the purpose of each one of them. That said, I want you know that my husband is improving significantly, not because his impairments resolved but because everyday he is learning and striving to manage everything in a way that he can fulfill his goals.

As a caregiver of a Soldier with traumatic brain injury for the past three and a half years I can say, I have walked in various paths that were unexpected. I wasn't ready, I never envisioned this new life but this new life have brought one of the most meaningful experiences, the opportunity to…

Living in the Present

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For the past couple of years more scientists are studying the benefits of living in the present. As I woke up this morning I thought about all the caregivers that are worrying so much about their future. I have heard things like "But what if he doesn't change", "Will this situation going to be like this forever?" "If he doesn't get the retirement or rating we are expecting, we won't be able to support our family" and many more concerns about the future.

All these concerns are legitimate and many times takes part in our dreams, take time from our sleep and it is revolving constantly in our minds. When thinking on all these this morning I couldn't avoid but reflect on it. During my “me” time this morning I thanked God for all the wonderful things in life, because definitely could have been worst. Pretty much we can all relate to knowing someone who is worse than us, but that is not the point. The important thing is recognizing that we all h…

Marriage and Intimacy

I was asked to write about marriage and intimacy. What a topic of so much divergence and complicated to the human nature. When I see marriages that survived WWII, Korea and Vietnam I can’t avoid thinking “wow, how they made that happened”, but the more I speak with more experienced couples the more I see a common theme among them, values and commitment. I remember seeing my grandparents’ growing old and still saying “I love you” like it was part of their daily language. “What have we forgotten or when did we disconnect?” “There is no intimacy, there is no marriage”. These question and statement are so common and have been brought to my attention by spouses of wounded warriors. One afternoon I am sitting at home and I am reflecting in all the comments that I have heard and the pain and sorrow that these situations bring to these spouses. Are you the spouse of a wounded warrior? Life is not over, like my husband will say, “It is a new beginning”. The problem is that sometimes we are …