Wounded Families and Caregivers Conference
We know is not an easy road and one that we never desired to go through. We laugh and then we cry and then we laugh again, it is simply the nature of loving somebody that is injured. Yes! as true as it is we should never focus in what we lost but what we have, not in the past but in how we will transformed our future, not who we were but who we will become. Talking with several the spouses I heard over and over that they were not the same, that they lost their identity and that they had to give up everything they aspired in life. I felt extremely bad because I never gave up my job or my school. Then I thought to myself what a bad caregiver I am, but that is also what I mentioned in the past, it is that guilt that my life is going on.
I think that it would be easier for me to give up everything but because I have not done that my husband has been forced to be more aware of his needs and how to cope with them. Don't get me wrong, I am there for him and help him very much but I also want him to gain independence and that is how we have been able to accomplish that. I do not want to stop being me but why do we have to become a different person? The circumstances just push us to that. Like the old operating systems in computers needs upgrades once in a while to be able to run all the new and more demanding capabilities in that computer, then lets start making an upgraded version of us. I am determined to continue to be Roxana but with each experience I do not want to loose myself but become the upgraded version. Of course I do not want this to be taken wrong and I truly admire all the caregivers but lets start thinking out of the box and try new strategies to be resilient during our circumstances.
I am starting to realized that we need so much healing in our caregivers community. I am blessed to have met so many amazing spouses that are selfless and just strong women, it just makes me so sad when I hear that they lost their identity. I just hope that one day the military will work with the Wounded Families in a way that we could thrive and share our amazing stories. Until then we can just hope and work hard to make it happen.