New Year, New Beginnings!
Wow! The Holidays are over and I still feel it was yesterday when I put up the christmas tree. This new year I have various goals and I will work toward them one by one. I have goals that can be categorize in personal and professional. The professional goals include the completion of my doctoral dissertation (which I am just starting) and to continue to succeed at work. My personal goals are the ones complicated because this year I have to work toward improving various areas. It has been a little over two year since my husband sustained a TBI. I really need to listen more and not push him to hard. I am always full of life, wanting to do multiple things, go to many places and never rest. Well, that doesn't help my husband, because he needs to go slower. I noticed I did better in the past when the injury was recent, but now two and a half years later I am again like the old me and that is not working. I expressed my feelings in the past about how we caregivers change our mode of being, our life due to our new circumstances. I developed skills in so many areas to be able to help my husband but there are areas that definitely need 911 improvement. I want to work on having more patience with my husband, talk slower, not ask questions back to back and trying to fix everything or do it for him. These are things that can deteriorate the emotional state of the person with TBI.
Victor and I enjoy having amazing communication between both of us and we have regular conversations about how we feel and share opinions of how to improve. Well, in the last couple of conversations he indicated that I am forgetting he has certain conditions that prevent him from keeping up wih me, and I felt so bad because to some extent I know it is true. Am I forgetting he has TBI, is the compassion period over, am I getting tired???? I reflected on these and realized none of those are the case but believe me I became worried. What happened that now I am faster and in some way he felt I didn't care? Well, I have to admit "mea culpa". Sometimes if he was slow doing something I would just do it to get it done faster, and in no way this is good. I am glad he had the confidence to tell me and didn't buried that in his heart. This is the reason why frequent and constant communication is so important.
This year will be full of blessings. I have many goals and resolutions, but one thing I am certain is that "All things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28. There is no doubt in my mind that things will always be for the good and not the bad. Throughout the years things have been better and I am confident that this year even better experiences are ahead.
I wish you a very Happy New Year and full of blessings. Know that you are never alone, that there is always someone that will understand how you feel. If you need a friend that will udnerstand what you are going through, please rest assure that I am here. Feel free to send me e-mails, leave comments or send me a post. Let's share our story, the story of being a caregiver.