Spinning in Circles
I received a message from a dear friend that made me cried, not only because I could relate to her but because I felt there is nothing I could do to be there for her. This strong, beautiful woman is one of a kind. We were together serving in the Family Readiness Group and she was always ready to help and was instrumental in fulfilling the mission with families in deployment times. She had a sense of carism and she was vibrant, funny and overall fun to be around. Unfortunately her husband was medically discharge from the Army and the family they new has become distant. Yes, in the military we are a family and when we don't have that we feel we lost something precious.
I will never forget one specific statement my friend wrote and that I keep hearing from spouses of wounded soldiers, "I feel like we are stuck spinning in the same circles". They feel they were left behind and I can share that same sentiment but then she said "I just wish I could waive a white flag and "we" would be rescued instead of me trying to rescue the both of us". Even if my husband and I made of all our situation a positive experience, at first we missed our life and we just learned how to live the new one. There are no words I can say that can change other's life, I wish I could just send an e-mail or fix things from the distance but it is impossible.
As I mentioned in other postings, sorrow and loneliness are one of the first things that I felt when I started walking this new journey. Spinning in circles? How could that be avoided? One thing that came to my mind is when the car is spinning I learned that you have to let go the steering wheel so the car can stop, the more you try to control it, the more will spin and can even rollover. Very similar is our lives, the more we try to control the more susceptible we are to a rollover, because there are things that we simply cannot control. So I am still here thinking what can I do to help others and make it better and the only thing that comes to my mind is to keep creating awareness of how we caregivers feel and continue the efforts to improve our quality of life.
One of the greatest blessings in my life is my spirituality. My relationship with God has never been affected no matter my circumstances. I never ask Why but "For what? What is the purpose? What can I make out of this?" and I think that is what gives me energy to let it go and start living with meaning. Whatever is your situation, just stop and make a plan. It is not an easy task and most of the time will require a counselor or pastor/spiritual leader help you identify the path.
This posting is dedicated to a strong, beautiful woman, one that I met in 2006 and shared a lot of what it is like to be a proud army wife. She is a sunshine, she is strong and I know one day we will see each other and laugh and say "And we thought deployments were difficult". I know she will read this post and it is my hope she gets the message of how much I admire her, how much I believe that she can get throught it and that she forever will be a Strong Army Wife.
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