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Showing posts from October, 2010

Nothing like the love of my little sister

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Today I received a beautiful e-mail from my sister. What she doesn't know is that she answered so many questions I had, like, "Did I ever do enought to be a role model or a good big sister?" Little she knows that her e-mail just made my day and more than that, she made shine a big smile that will never fade away. Please meet my loving "little" sister Melissa, my best friend, my confident and the one who knows me better than anyone else, because we laught, we cried and we shared the best memories of my first 23 years of life. She is a great love in my life! Now unfortunately we live so far away.

Melissa said,

A couple of days ago, you wrote in your blog having a knot in your throat when you woke up from a dream with Victor as he was in the past. That you felt ashamed for just dreaming that, even if you have no control over your dreams. I guess most of the spouses in your position dream about it once in a while, which doesn’t make you a bad person, just human.

Sinc…

A Prayer for the Caregiver

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by Bruce McIntyre

Unknown and often unnoticed, you are a hero nonetheless.
For your love, sacrificial, is God at his best.
You walk by faith in the darkness of the great unknown,
And your courage, even in weakness, gives life to your beloved.

You hold shaking hands and provide the ultimate care:
Your presence, the knowing, that you are simply there.
You rise to face the giant of disease and despair,
It is your finest hour, though you may be unaware.

You are resilient, amazing, and beauty unexcelled,
You are the caregiver and you have done well!
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Today I woke up with a big knot in my throat, a sharp pain in my heart and the relief of knowing that everything will be okay. Last night was one of those days that I dreamed with how my husband was. We were talking and he sounded so clear, so like he was, he was so different (active, outgoing and very secured of himself). Yes, I still remember those days and I feel so guilty I dreamed about it and I wish so badly we can have our lives back. Today is one oif those days that I would love to have a time machine and go back in time and spend there even if it's 10 minutes, the times that we used to laugh without thinking about the future, that we could be all day long somewhere traveling and having fun without the exhaustion. I know, it sounds horribly selfish and for that I feel so much guilt. Sometimes I feel scared I will forget how his voice sounded and his gestures when he talked to me. The days like today I go back as early as our wedding day and try to recall every moment we s…

Love and Duty

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Dear Friends,


I hope you had a wonderful week full of good experiences. In 2002 when my husband joined the army as an active duty soldier I was so proud and I am still very proud to call myself an army wife. The military prepares and trains very hard to accomplish their mission and that is one of the reasons they are the best military system in the World. We, the spouse and family members play an important role in the life of soldiers. Broken and unhappy families will not contribute positively to the life of the service member.

After my husband's injury, my role was not only as a wife but also I was the cheerleader in his time of sadness and sorrow, his shoulder to lean on when he was falling down, his good listener and his best friend. Despite my own sorrow, pain and frustration, I did it ALL because of Love and Duty. I love my husband dearly and I was ready to fulfill the commitment as a wife and more specially as an army wife. My husband's heart is to return to duty and tha…

Home is the comfiest place to be…

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The other day (Friday) my husband gave me gift, an improvissed gift. It was a nice surprise since he used to do that all the time before the injury. He used to come home with gifts and nice details even if we were not celebrating anything. In celebrations he always make sure he made it very special and that never changed, but the sporadically gifting did. Not that now he is not caring but I guess his mind is in so many other things and he does not go shopping by himself which he usually did in past. Anyway, he gave me a beautiful card that reads as follows:

“Ask me about my day and I’ll tell you…
I spent it being grateful for your tenderness, thanksful for your soft caress-

Ask me and I’ll tell you….
That I whispered a little thank you in my heart because you are beautiful on the inside, too… so sweet, so sensitive. You care about me, laugh with me, and believe in me, sometimes more than I do myself.

Aks me about my life and I’ll tell you….
That it’s changed, I’ve changed –all because of y…

The Stages of Healing

Today was a beautiful sunny day in El Paso, TX. Hope your day (wherever you are) was beautiful and that you are enjoying the start of the new season. I was thinking today about the Seasons and how each one is characterized by different events in nature and weather. The same way the journey of healing is characterized by different phases that we as caregivers need to be aware. These are the stages of healing.

STAGE I - DENIAL
STAGE II - BLAME / HELPLESSNESS
STAGE III - WAITING
STAGE IV - WORKING on my problem
Stage IVa - Making a New Choice
Stage IVb - Evaluating the New Choice
Stage V - RESOLVING ISSUES

As caregivers we should be knowleageable about these stages to be ahead of the game and know what to do when your loved one experience any of them. I truly believe that knowledge is power and may sound like a cliché but the reality is that the more knowledge we have, the better prepared we will be to overcome obstacles. It sounds easy but it may not be as easy as it sounds. Most of the ti…